(Picture Credits: I have no idea whom to give credits for this beautiful, beautiful picture art. Sorry ha? Dinekwat ko.)
So how many system of government are there to choose from? Sa totoo lang, there are only three.
1.) The United States presidential system
2.) The United Kingdom’s Westminster parliamentary system and
3.) The others
Forget the “others”. Either they’ve crumbled, got decimated and evaporated, currently burning and hoping for spring or stuck in unimaginable suffering, treating their people like animals, firing missiles headed to our Republic of Bicol and they’re not even classified as “government” as far as I am concerned. They’re a bunch of terrorist organizations! At least, that makes this discussion easy, di ba?
And so that’s that. Wannabe rulers of the world who prefers to be user-friendly chooses the American model or the British model.
THE PRESIDENTIAL SYSTEM
I could talk about our twisted presidential system with eloquence. It is much easier to explain given that I’m one Filipino aborigines with blue eyes and blond hair. And I know that we copied everything American but the twang. Since we have a lot of twisted retards in government, they tweaked the system and did not really copy the American presidential form in its entirety, although the basics are there. Then again, federalism is a scary thought for we will just be forever slaves of the sick Filipino form of dynasties. Mga tikbalang na yan!
Under our super ever presidential system where every family that gets elected are transformed into clingons, there are three branches of the government and we like to believe they are all equal. Equally corrupt. That’s by the book. That’s the theory. That’s how it’s supposed to be. The reality of course is different. There are actually 4. The Philippine’s four branches of government are:
4.) The Church
The 4th branch of the government is the most fun, being the noisiest offering some of the most bewildering and illogical justifications ever and believe they’re over, above and far beyond the 3 others. Korak ba ako Jen Aquino?
Now, under our sottonized government:
1.) The president and the vice-president represent the executive branch. The president has the power to play guns with his friends and when not doing bang bang, proposes laws. He also nominates classmates and relatives. Thanks to Bathala, we have some check$$ and balance$$ called Consumisyon of Appointments that has the power to reject presidential gifts if they’re not enough to pass his nominations. And that’s how they rejected Jess Robredo! Mga hampas dirt na yan!
Now, the president signs or reject bills enacted by Congress if these don’t fit his whims and caprices. He issues executive orders like giving assault rifles to mentally twisted citizens. It’s legal. So, there. Kaya at the same time, he has this unlimited power to pardon criminals. See? It’s like chicken and egg. Alin ang nauna? The right to own a gun kasi now you have to defend yourself from mentally deranged citizens but legal owners?
Back to the discussion, so, ano ang role nang vice-president? Ano pag! Eh di work hard to kick out the president! Why is this like this? As I have said, we did not copy the American system. We can have 1 president from 1 party and the other from some far-away bulalakaw. There’s your gridlock.
2.) The supreme court is the judicial branch. Believe me, they are very independent. In fact, they create their own executive orders too, to protect their asses and their own special mistresses and you know, fudge world bank funding? But basically, their responsibility is to interpret and apply the laws according to the highest bidder err reader err, you know, those who go mad for a couple grams? Them. Wait. I forgot. They become the referee when mini courts engage in fights. Yes, they also make sure their interpretation is constitutional. To them, I guess.
Now, the president nominates appointments to the judiciary, but these must pass before another type of “kunsumisyon of appointments” called judicial bar. That’s where they debar candidates not up to par promoting their interests. I hope my masungit lawyer BFF Trixie Cruz don’t get to read what I wrote hehehe! Anyway, there’s your gridlock. And that pretty much explains why there’s no synchronicity in their singing of the national anthem. I heard lousy singers are always absent.
3.) The legislative branch is the delicious branch. They swallow pork. They hide pork. They pad pork. In fact, they would detour pork. Those bastards! And they can do this because they are also independent and they hide err set their own agenda pala. In fact, they too can insert provisions for the protection of their own special ganid interests. Alak, babae, lalaki at sugal. Of course they need mansions to house their prized gurlets, boylets and dildos. Except that if you’re not being cute to the executive branch, the president that is, then you’re like the woman Magsaysay, your pork will be walang saysay.
Now here’s the swanky part. The legislative branch is bisexual. Most representatives that we elect start off as well-mannered, judicious, para sa bayan and once they get a taste of power and pork, that’s when they start to whore themselves. That’s why they’re at the House, the House of Prostitutes.
And then we also have the Senate headed by the Senile Majority Leader. Their role is to review presidential nominations, treaties and contracts and make sure their loots are not subjected to COA and BIR review and that they get their share, you know – of the review and TV time slots. If not, that’s when they hit you with impeachment trials.
So, there’s your Philippine presidential system of government according to how I know it. I think I got them all right, korak?
THE PARLIAMENTARY SYSTEM
Unlike the presidential system where I got whored pretty much from the day I started admiring our Talahib Highway in Castilla, Sorsogon like it was the western model of the civilized way of getting rich, I may not be able to explain UK’s Westminster model eloquently since I have not lived in a real Buckingham Palace to have a feel and touch of it. All of my experience with this type of government is Simon Cowell. That bitch! Well, ok. I give him credits for Il Divo and One Direction.
But those who follow the Westminster system have these basics. The Prime Minister have significant executive power while the President, Kings and/or Queens plays a very minimal role in the state affairs. They’re the wall flowers.
This is how they play under the Westminster model.
1.) the legislative branch determines who occupies the executive branch;
But I was told, in reality daw, it is more complex and subtle than that. Ganito daw po yon.
The head of state (playing a minimal role in the affairs of the state) appoints the head of the executive branch (who is this person? The Prime Minister) based on who he or she believes will have the confidence of the legislative branch.
And that’s the keyword – confidence. Dahil pag wa, the legislative branch can make the Prime Minister head to the exit door at any time they passes a vote of no-confidence against him or her especially if the budget presented is kulang.
See what I told you, it’s like listening to Simon Cowell – horrendous! Forgettable! And off you go. We, the voting public, are not even given the chance to have a say. Mark my word. I will make you remember that later.
2.) the executive branch then determines who occupies the judicial branch.
In our unique Philippine model, we have one Congressman and one Senator as members of the Judicial bar, correct? And it’s also the executive that appoints members of the judiciary. In the Westminster model, normally the executive is responsible for appointing the members of the judiciary and there is very little legislative oversight.
In fact, the in the United Kingdom, the Lord Chancellor can occupy all by holding a cabinet post, a legislator, and a judge. O, di ba? Saan ka pa! Buy one get three free!
3.) What about the legislative branch? Well, this one is usually under the direction of the Prime Minister and if you remember, he is the executive. He sets the agenda. It’s a different situation because the executive is typically supported by the majority of the lower house. Effect? Bills are passed with not much noise. Compare that to what happened with our RH bill na halos mag-tigbakan na sila! Now, mark what I said, I’ll bring that up later.
It’s pretty interesting to compare our own presidential system with the basic Westminster model of the parliamentary system of government. Of course, there are checks and balances in both systems.
The beauty of the parliamentary system is that, the legislative branch can simply give it a no-confidence vote and the executive evaporates. A snap election comes next or more appointments. Now, I’m not familiar with Japan’s parliamentary systems but last month, the Prime Minister dissolved the parliament. O, di ba? The other thing is that, UK’s parliamentary form is very stable. Kaya nga kinokopya correct?
Now, you try that with our Presidential system. Di ba if you want to kick out a lousy performing president, they hold on to power, call their private armies, kaya nga tawag ko to them are clingons? Besides, unlike the parliamentary form na pulitika lang they can shut down the other branch, sa presidential naman we have seen costly impeachment cases because the actual crime has to be proven. Di ba? Ask Jose Pidal and Jose Velarde. They know. In a way, it’s good because you cannot just order a President to head to the exit door simply out of childish politics. Then again after the verdict, enter politics. That’s your presidential pardons. Hayst! Ewan!
But here’s one thing I noticed. In the parliamentary model, there is not much dissent and if there is, it is easier for them to quell. Why? Almost always they have the majority AND it’s the executive that sets the agenda! Correct?
Compare that with our presidential system! In our factory of manufacturing laws, it has to pass the House of Prostitutes, then the Senile Branch and then signed into law by the Executive. There are dissent in every corner! And mind you, as democracy loving Flips, we love that, don’t we? Because in our democracy we try our best that the most logical reasoning wins! We love to make kurarat! Di ba?
Unfortunately, there is a high price to pay in a presidential system that allows dissent. It’s called gridlock. Result? Stunted progress. But I don’t believe that just because our presidential system has some problems that a parliamentary system would be better. I don’t find any logic in that statement.
And while I read that there are studies that says corruption is better controlled in the parliamentary systems, this will probably not apply to the Philippines. You see, Filipinos have invented the art of corruption, the talent is just superlatives.
Which is why if you ask me, our presidential system is working just fine. Finely broken that is. I just wish we have some strong institutions. They steal our funds, we okray them to hell. But I hold that freedom to dissent where everyone is given a right to be heard on top of the scale. To me, that makes us THE PEOPLE as part of the government. However, it also breaks my heart that corruption is sickly unbelievable in our government!
So yes, I’m leaning presidential and any other type is a form of authoritarianism as far as I am concerned.
My blog was offline back then, and I wrote this on my Facebook notes back in January 2013.